Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Adventure Calls from the Lost City of Un’Goro, Hearthstone’s Next Expansion - Blizzard Entertainment

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

FDA Gives Tomato Recall Over Salmonella Highest Risk Warning - TODAY.com

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Is it considered rude to comment on someone's weight? Is it simply stating a fact?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

34-Million-Year-Old Snake Discovery Unveils Surprising Secrets About Reptile Evolution - Indian Defence Review

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

AI Finally Cracks Decades-Long Mars Mystery That Has Baffled Scientists - The Daily Galaxy

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I actually pay taxes

What are the basic human needs according to psychology? What are the consequences of not meeting these needs?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Do many women shave their vaginas?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

Do snipers lay on top of tank turrets during combat?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Kelp forest collapse alters food web and energy dynamics in the Gulf of Maine - Phys.org

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I see through liars

5 takeaways from Seahawks organized team activities | Analysis - The Seattle Times

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

How do you write a letter to your uncle who sent you money for your birthday outfit?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Milky Way galaxy might not collide with Andromeda after all - Ars Technica

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can read

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet