Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t buy bullshit

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why do I sometimes hear full conversations when I am alone?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

How do I complain on a boy coming to marriage with me without my involvement despite no connection with him though he had an illegal affair?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

China demands sensitive information for rare earth exports, companies warn - Financial Times

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I can count

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why is the government destroying the homeless instead of helping them?

I see through liars

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What is the STAR interview method?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Astronomers discover most powerful cosmic explosions since the Big Bang - Live Science

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can not sleep. what is the problem?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Some men love anal sex more than vaginal sex. Why?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

How can I stop drinking?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

How do I rat my boss out for serial cheating on his wife?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

See how the national debt grew to more than $36 trillion - The Washington Post

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Why am I always so tired and I don't eat enough?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Hillary thinks we must censor or "we lose total control". Why does she demand total control?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Have you ever had a bad gut feeling about someone and it was right?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Did Meghan Markle Use Her College boyfriend For Star Power?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can read

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that